Benefits Of Being Single On Valentine’s Day

North Star of Georgia CounselingThis day has not only been commercialized, but has become a trigger of loneliness and self-defeat for those who are not in a relationship or have a date for that day. We have been socialized to feel obligated to be in relationships and be defined by those we share our life with. The beauty in it is that we share our lives. However, we easily lose ourselves in the process. Let’s not lose the first person we are to be in love with… Ourselves! Without loving yourself, there is not a healthy way to truly love another. So take this time see all the benefits to being single

1.  Take Time to find yourself- Find your grounding and find out who you are. Take stock of where you are in your life. What’s going well and what would you like to improve? Try to stay focused on what really matters to you and what you really want, independent of social pressures and expectations. What are your most important goals in different domains of your life, such as health, work, and relationships?

2. You Can Take a Break. Taking a break from the everyday grind—a weekend getaway, a round of golf, a good workout, a shopping spree—you are not bound by or dependent on another person. Feel free, explore and indulge in wanderlust!

3. Finances. You can have better control of your spending when you are not feeding into the commercialism of Valentine’s Day. Or better yet, treat yourself to something special.

4. Spending time with those closest to you. One of the unfortunate realities of being in a relationship is that we no longer have the same amount of time to devote to friends and family because there is another person to share your time with as well as those that are close to your partner. Take this time to reconnect with close friends and family members and continue building your social support that is independent of romantic partners.  

Our brains are wired for love, connection, and cooperation. But the individualism, social isolation, and competition of modern society have led to imbalance within ourselves, in our relationships, and with nature. We see the results in current epidemics of anxiety, loneliness, pain and obesity. Dr. Kristin Neff, a researcher at the University of Texas at Austin, is the pioneer of self-compassion as a tool to promote psychological healing, well-being, and better relationships. She shared, “self-compassion is a more constant personal quality, in which we value ourselves and treat ourselves kindly just because we are human. And this caring attitude to ourselves helps us to recognize our similarity and connection with other humans, who share with us common aspirations and sources of suffering”. So let’s take this time and learn who we are and how to be kind to ourselves.

Habiba Zaman LPC, NCC

Northstar of Georgia Multicultural Counseling & Consulting