Defiance… we all do it. Whether it is through breaking the speed limit or straight up saying no to a request. It is our way of asserting ourselves and “sticking it to them” when we don’t agree or wish to follow through with something we disagree with. But where does it really come from? Is it just that you don’t agree with it? If you have been following my writing you will have guessed that nothing is just that simple. Think about it… there is a deep rewarding sense of satisfaction we receive from that defiance. And that satisfaction comes from the satiation of our need for power. We all have fundamental needs; five actually if you consult Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. One of those needs is the need for power. I do not mean the kind of “I am in charge and I control you!” type of power. What I mean by the need for power is that sense of control over the direction of your destiny. We as humans need to feel as though we have some say over the direction of the course of our lives. If you look at a two year old, that defiance or need for power is evident. When things seem out of our control and nothing is going as we had planned; the fastest way to regain that sense of control is by saying “no”. By being defiant, we feel in charge of our destiny again, we feel as though we have the power over the course of our life. The next time you feel like breaking the rules, just saying the h*ll with it all, or teaching them a lesson, think about where it may be coming from. Where is the instability and where do you feel like the control has been stripped from you. Once you see the source, then you truly have the power to decide if you want to follow through with the course you would normally follow, or make a different path for your future.
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