Life is like photography. You develop from the negatives.

Life is like photography. You develop from the negatives.

I try to go by that quote and apply it to everything that happens. But sometimes, I get restless. It’s funny we can learn to master our emotions in one entity, but not the other. I know I have grown a lot and have learned to love people the way they deserved to be loved. But some people obviously didn’t deserve that love, and it took years for me to figure it out. So I’ve been eliminating people left and right. I used to be the type that would just go all out and say regretful things during arguments. Not anymore. I used to be the type to honk my horn for 6 minutes because someone cut me off. Not anymore. I used to acknowledge negative people online and argue with them all day long. Not anymore. Now…I find myself not even getting riled up anymore. Now…I find myself laughing at the negativity more than engaging into it and allowing it to “fuck up my chi”. Now…I ignore ignorance. Now…I don’t waste time arguing with someone who will never “get it”. Now…I state my claim, express my feelings & move it right along.

It’s funny how nothing forces me to move faster than pain. Restlessness is pain. Someone manipulating you continuously is pain. Disappointment is pain. Betrayal is pain. Making fake efforts is pain. Being lied to is pain. Broken promises is pain. Giving up is pain. When we’re in pain, it’s our duty to do something to make ourselves feel better. And if the old remedy doesn’t work, we gotta try something new, and get rid of the stale medicine. It’s a must. That old school saying “out of sight, out of mind” trick doesn’t help much. All you’re really doing is crumpling up those feelings and hiding it in your bottom drawer. Not exactly “throwing it away”. So one day, unexpected, you fill find that same piece of paper.

Whenever we have a negative encounter, we wonder, “How could they do this to me?” The reason is because you let them. Basic human nature makes us see people and situations the way we want them to be, not the way they are. Then if your feelings are involved, they may crowd out your personal judgment. We allow others to take advantage, manipulate, and in some cases, abuse us, because we don’t want to “believe” what our senses are telling us is true. Don’t stay in denial. If legitimate facts are laid in front of you, don’t be blind to the obvious. You will get hurt in return. We are living products of our past. I think the reason why we allow these things to keep on happening is because whether it was negative or positive, we don’t have that natural feeling of beauty anymore. The environment of our childhood, teen years and young adult lives sets a path for our future. Our past is a part of our today. We carry it in our hearts and take heed to the next step considering what we been through. We do what was done to us because during our years of growing up we modeled what we saw, heard and experienced. With a great deal of denial, we repeat the physical, emotional and mental patterns set by our families, relationships and friends. Or, we overcompensate for what was missing during or years of growing up. It’s hard to convince one another to just “get over it” when you know that you haven’t gotten over a few things yourself. Point is, just be glad that you still have life. Feel beautiful for once. Or how about forever? Times when I feel like just throwing my hands up in the air and say “I give up. I can’t go any further”… I take a look at all the things I do have, embrace those blessings and smoothly get over it. I relive the good memories of my past, and create lessons to learn from the mistakes I’ve made. Explore my feelings, unpack the guilt and free myself from the baggage I picked up moments before. Yes, you’re gonna feel bitter. Yes, you’re gonna feel unloved. Yes, you’re gonna feel like shit. But once you take a glance at your accomplishments, creations & the strength within…you will start to feel beautiful again. Don’t waste those limited moments of your life harping on the hideous aspects you’ve made it through. You’re here right now. Get a mirror, smile and commence being what you are.

Too many times we cut ourselves down to fit into a situation. Fixing ourselves to stay where we are is the very source of our pain. I refuse to allow myself to live with a constant, reoccurring ache because technically, it means I’m not getting the message. Eventually, you will reach a point where you won’t tolerate it anymore. That’s when it’s going to be the easiest to simply walk away and never look back. The only way you will successfully end it all is to stand up for yourself, and stand up for what you believe in. Make sure you don’t become an emotional pushover. More than likely, your pain is caused by you compromising yourself, to suit others or a particular situation. Catering to someone’s flaws, pride or insensitivity, instead of focusing on yourself and figuring out why you’re putting up with it in the first place. Dig deep within. You know why. You’re just afraid to admit it. Or you’re afraid to let go. Or just flat out being afraid to speak your mind to that person because they blow everything out of proportion just to fault you, when all you’re doing is trying to help.

Bow down to no one. A closed mouth doesn’t get fed. Try it one day and see how strong & overcoming you’ll feel. I promise you, it’s invigorating.

-CW